Forced down the rabbit hole again?
On Thanksgiving Day, 2006, God plucked us out of the nightmare Tibetan Buddhism had become for us, although it took us a long time to realize that it was in fact God who rescued us.
Lodu Kimshul’s (also known as Lama Lodu ‘Rinpoche’) Tibetan Buddhist Center, Kagyu Droden Kunchab, in San Francisco, traditionally cooked a Thanksgiving lunch for its residents, members and invited some of the public, which was served after everyone participated in a ‘Chenrezig’ puja. Since we always cooked Thanksgiving dinner for our family, we hadn’t gone to the Center on Thanksgiving Day for many years. For some reason, we felt an urgency to do things a little differently that year, to go into the Center for the puja, and then go home and cook.
Kimshul was by now living in the renovated basement front apartment of the building, with his wife Tashi and infant daughter. When we got to the Center that fateful day, we went down to his residence to pay our respects, and for Donald to give him a $2,000.00 donation from one of our friends and benefactors, his annual sponsorship for orphan children in Kimshul’s ‘Orphan Children Fund’*. Our friend had donated $1,000.00 the previous year, which had sponsored two ‘orphans’ for a year (at $500 a year per child, this is a small fortune in Sikkim). Our friend told Donald he wanted to sponsor four children for a year with this $2,000.00 donation.
As Donald was handing him the check, Kimshul inexplicably, harshly, accused Donald of ‘praying’ for this donation to come to him instead of Kimshul, as if Donald had wanted the money for himself, or perhaps it was because Kimshul did not want Donald to know that he had asked our friend for double the amount. It seems that our friend and benefactor was expected to send the check directly to Kimshul, not give it to Donald to give to him.
Then Kimshul told Donald that the $2,000.00 would be used for two children, not four (an even larger small fortune, $1,000 for the care of one child in Sikkim).
- Having visited Kimshul’s village of Martam, Sikkim, earlier that year, we knew that this was a lot of money. Donald attempted to say his friend wanted to sponsor four children, but Kimshul just got angrier. (And as we realized later, upon reflection, all of the money Kimshul raised for ‘orphans’ went to his family in Sikkim, who were running the ‘program’ for the (non) orphan children of his village.)
Kimshul then handed Donald a box of cheap stringed lights that didn’t work, and asked him to take it home and fix the lights. We went upstairs, to the room used for the public rituals, and then we went outside to walk in the park (once again!) in a state of bewilderment, anger, hurt and outrage. We left our ritual items on the cushions, the texts, text holders and our malas.
We had just decided to get in our car and go home, and leave all of our stuff behind, when our cell phone rang. Kimshul called, and asked some trivial question, and no doubt used thought-projection to compel us to return to the Center. We went back upstairs, still dazed, and we sat on our cushions in the front room, to join in the puja/ritual that was about to be done by Kimshul and other students.
- Donald was appalled by the interaction in the basement earlier, he had tried to protect the interest of his beloved friend, who was kind and generous to give more that year. And Donald was also appalled as he suddenly realized that his friend’s money, given generously and in good faith, was not, in actuality, and had never been, used for orphan children.
Kimshul gave a talk before the puja, one of the subjects was about the importance of the student/teacher relationship, and the student’s strict, unwavering obedience to one’s teacher.
And as the puja started, Donald could feel Kimshul’s thoughts directed at him, he could feel Kimshul trying to direct Donald’s mind back into a state of subjugation and compliance, through thought projection.
A yoke was broken
Like a movie playing on a screen, or like a near-death experience where your whole life flashes before your eyes, every instance of deception, harm and manipulation, all the lies, all of the wickedness and treachery, and all of the rituals done to subjugate us by Kimshul, appeared one by one in Donald’s mind. Donald could feel Kimshul using thought projection to lead Donald’s mind back down the proverbial rabbit hole, back down into the belief system whereby we would be tolerant of this immoral behavior, this unethical, repugnant behavior, toward people who were less fortunate than he. In particular, Holy Spirit confirmed in Donald’s mind that the children we met in Sikkim who Kimshul had claimed were the orphans who were benefiting from his ‘Orphans Fund’, were not (as we saw for ourselves) ‘orphans.’ Kimshul had been lying about them for years to fraudulently raise money, and Donald was very angry about this.
Donald saw, as well, all of the instances over the years where we had been treated unfathomably poorly by Kimshul, by the other students, and by other teachers, of higher and lower ranks than this teacher, and by lamas in other lineages. He heard again, but with a new understanding, all the lies Kimshul had told him over the years.
God opened Donald’s eyes and his heart, then and there, on Thanksgiving Day, 2006, in the puja/ritual room of the Center to which we had devoted so much of our lives, hearts and time.
- The anger and rage, the deep betrayal Donald felt, by someone he loved and trusted and devoted his life to, the anguish, and the self-condemnation for leading others to this false teacher and false religion, went deep inside of him, and could not be put into words for years.
Because Kimshul had used the witchcraft, sorcery and black magic of Tibetan Buddhism to harm us (and we were innocents, undeserving of this abomination) and as we saw, harm so many others, then the teachings, principles, words, mantras or deities we spent years memorizing and worshipping, were false. And as we learned, when we went to many other Tibetan lamas and ‘rinpoches’ that we had trusted, for help, their words also were false.
God showed Donald, in the spirit realm, that this was demonic witchcraft and sorcery. We had had our suspicions the last several years, but that day the fog was lifted from his mind, and it was revealed to him that day that Tibetan Buddhism was satanic to its core, cloaked in a veil of loving kindness and compassion.
We had sat through hundreds of hours of teachings, by many lamas and ‘rinpoches’ on loving kindness and compassion, and we actively strove to accomplish these in ourselves, but we never saw it expressed in a genuine way by any of these teachers. Donald had always wondered what was hidden behind the masks of these teachers, and that day bad demons were shown to him.
The spirit of the righteousness of God was awoken in Donald, righteousness and justice, he felt both appear in his mind. But because of the web of deception that was spun around us, it wasn’t until much later that he was able to fully understand all the implications of everything shown to him that day. After the puja/ritual was over, we left the Center and went home.
We never returned.
(This is an excerpt from our book, ‘Exposing Deeds of Darkness, Becoming non-attached to that which teaches non-attachment, available on Amazon, in paperback and Kindle ebook.)
- *Update on Kimshul’s ‘Orphaned Children’s Fund’, it has since been renamed Sikkim Children’s Educational Fund. We wonder if this fund includes educating the young children from Sikkimese-Hindu families who are working as indentured servants (bought from their poverty-stricken parents) in Kimshul’s gompa (Kimshul’s family home/temple in Martam, Sikkim).